First step to deal with toxic people effectively
First step to deal with toxic people effectively
Dealing with toxic people can suck the living daylights out of you. It can feel soul destroying and draining at best. At worst, it is damaging on many different levels. Dealing with it can feel challenging.
So to help you approach those situations, I wanted to share with you the best piece of relationship advice I ever got that has helped me enormously over the years. It was from a colleague many years ago who is an expert in the field of dealing with toxic people.
He said to remove that person's label/title, e.g., parent, boss, partner, co-worker, spouse, sibling, client, employee, friend, etc.
Then, just look at that person, how they behave, how they treat you, how they treat others, what impact they have on you, etc.
Without the label attached, ask yourself this question:
What relationship can I have with that person that is healthy for me, if any?
Make decisions, set boundaries, make changes, and make choices based on your answer as that is the reality of your relationship dynamic with that person when you strip the label/title away.
Labels/titles often have projections and expectations associated with them of what they "should" be that could negatively shape what you put up with and result in you being on the receiving end of things that aren't healthy for you. And that can be very damaging.
Approaching any relationship by assessing what is real for you with that particular person instead of the label/title can be transformational in many ways and on many different levels in your life, work, or business.
That advice changed my life, work, and business for the better and still does to this day.